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”In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you.”
- O.A.R., Shattered


I think that sums me up anymore. I need some kind of change in my life. Something that can break me free from whatever is gripping me, holding me down in ways I can’t fully explain. But no matter the change I need, I always come back to the same things. I always find myself wanting to go back to something from the past. A person, a place.
I feel like each day is a struggle to just keep moving forward sometimes.


I know a lot of this stems from just feeling lonely. I don’t get to meet many people in my life. I am up 7 in the morning and earliest I get home is 6pm (give or take). Then I got to make dinner for me and Bryan, clean, make sure things are ready to do it all again. Twice a week I don’t get home till 9pm (give or take) because I close at work and have to pick up Bryan at his mother’s.
I don’t begrudge my lifestyle. It is what it is and I have it a lot easier than most. Sure I have the occasional worry about a bill but overall, I make ends meet and I enjoy what I do get to do. I just wish there were other aspects I could enjoy too.
I was told I could leave Bryan with my mother and go on a date, but it doesn’t feel right. Even if by some chance I found someone worth going on a date with, I feel like I’m brushing off my responsibility to Bryan. Maybe that isn’t true realistically, but I still feel like it. I feel if I’m not working and he’s not at his mother’s, then I should be watching him. Does that make sense?


Aside from that, things have been okay, except I never feel caught up on sleep. So I get little done even on what few fun things I get to do cause I’m lying down trying to recoup my strength. But while my Xbox 360 might be feeling a little under used, I HAVE used it, so I can get into that right now.


Call of Duty 2: I had started this a while ago but wasn’t too far into it. All the achievements (except for 2) are for beating the game on Veteran, so I just started on that difficulty. It took me a bit, but I got it in a total of 4 days. I didn’t think that was bad, being my first CoD game I completed on Veteran. I actually really enjoyed the storyline. And the levels, while some parts really made me angry, were overall really well done. I was really impressed with this game. The biggest thing to get over is that I started the CoD games with 4, so some game features I was used to weren’t implemented yet (no sprint or grenade throw back). Otherwise, well done and I felt very accomplished and satisfied with beating this game. So, that’s a 1000/1000 Achievements for this one.


Viking: Battle For Asgard: This one I had originally beaten a couple years ago when I bought it new, cheap. However, I had missed 5 Achievements, so I went back for another playthrough to get the rest. After 3 days, I beat the game again on Hard difficulty and got the remaining achievements. Overall, the game is not hard at all on Hard and the end boss is ridiculously easy. So that’s another 1000/1000 achievements.


Pac-Man: I was missing 1 achievement for this game and it took me a good while to get it but I did it. Now I’m 200/200
Pac-Man: Championship Edition: Finished this off for another 200/200.


Aside from that, I’ve just been messing around in other games. Battlefield 1943, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, BioShock 2, Battfield: Bad Company 2 (which I have most Achievements for now), finished up DragonAge’s latest DLC, worked on Dante’s Inferno’s new DLC (prob won’t get one achievement  ). I think that’s about it.


Aside from that, not much more to tell. I finished the book Star Wars: Death Troopers. I was surprised that the book was as good as it was. I hesitated to read a Star Wars horror novel, but this one was do well. There was a lot of sad scenes with some truly scary, some classic heroics from Han and Chewie and others. I really liked it. There were some plot points I’d have preferred to be made a little clearer or spread out but overall, I can’t complain at all. Very good read.


And that’s it. I have some other things I want to type, but they deserve entries of their own rather than mix them into here. So until then, later.

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[User Picture]
On June 1st, 2010 07:33 pm (UTC), fredozzel commented:
sounds familiar
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